Long Ago

 

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Long Ago
The Gospel Truth I
The Gospel Truth II
The Gospel Truth III
Go the Distance
Go the Distance Reprise
One Last Hope
Zero to Hero
I Won’t Say I’m in Love
A Star is Born

Long Ago
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

Narrator:
Long ago, in the far away land of ancient Greece
there was a golden age
of powerful gods extraordinary heroes
and greatest and strongest
of all these Heroes was the mighty Hercules.
But what is the measure
of a true hero? Now, that is what our story …

Muses:
Will you listen to him?
He’s making the story
sound like some Greek tragedy.
Lighten up, dude.
We’ll take it from here, darling.

Narrator:
You go, girls …

Muses:
We are the muses.
Goddesses of the arts
and proclaimers of heroes.
Heroes like Hercules.
Honey, you mean Hunkules!
I’d like to make some sweet music of it
Our story actually
begins long before Hercules
Many Aeons ago …

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The Gospel Truth I
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

Back when the world was new
The planet Earth was down on its luck
And everywhere gigantic brutes
called Titans ran amok

It was a nasty place
There was a mess
whereever you stepped
Where chaos reigned and
earthquakes and volcanoes never slept

And then along came Zeus
He hurled his thunderbolt
He zapped
Locked those suckers in a vault
They’re trapped
And on his own stopped
chaos in its tracks
And that’s the gospel truth
The guy was too type A to just relax

And that’s the world’s first dish
Zeus tamed the globe
while still in his youth
Though, honey, it may seem imposs’ble
That’s the gospel truth

On Mt. Olympus life was neat and
Smooth as sweet vermough
Though, honey, it may seem imposs’ble
That’s the gospel truth

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The Gospel Truth II
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

If there’s one God you
don’t want to get steamed up
It’s Hades, cause he had an evil ?
He ran the Underworld
But thought the dead were dull and uncouth
He was as mean as he was ruthless
And that’s the gospel truth
He had a plan to shake things up
And that’s the gospel truth

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The Gospel Truth III
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

Young Herc was mortal now
But since he did not drink the last drop
He still retained his godlike strength
So thank his lucky star

But Zeus and Hera wept
Because their son could never come home
They’d have to watch their precious baby
Grow up from afar

Though Hades horrid plan
Was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth
The boy grew stronger ev’ry day and
That’s the gospel truth

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Go the Distance
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

I have often dreamed
Of a far-off place
Where a great warm welcome
Will be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I’m meant to be

I will find my way
I can go the distance
I’ll be there someday
If I can be strong
I know ev’ry mild
Will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere
to feel like I belong

I am on my way
I can go the distance
I don’t care how far
Somehow I’ll be strong
I know ev’ry mile
Will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere
to find where I belong

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Go the Distance (Reprise)
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

I will beat the odds
I can go the distance
I will face the world
Fearless, proud and strong
I will please the gods
I can go the distance
Till I find my hero’s welcome
Right where I belong

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One Last Hope
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

So, ya wanna be a hero, kid?
Well, whoop-de-do!
I have been around the block before
With blockheads just like you

Each and ev’ryone a disappointment
Pain for which there ain’t no ointment
So much for excuses
Though a kid of Zeus is
Asking me to jump into the fray
My answer is two words —
O.K.
You win
Oh gods
Oy vay!

I’d given up hope
that someone would come along
A fellow who’d ring the bell for once
Not the gong
The kind who wins trophies
Won’t settle for low fees
At least semi-pro fees
But no — I get the greenhorn

I’ve been out
to pasture pal, my ambition gone
Content to spend
lazy days and to graze my lawn
But you need an advisor
A satyr, but wiser
A good merchandiser
And oohh!
There goes my ulcer!

I’m down to one last hope
And I hope it’s you
Though, kid, you’re not exactly
A dream come true
I’ve trained enough turkeys
Who never came through
You’re my one last hope
So you’ll have to do

Demigods have faced the odds
And ended up a mockery
Don’t believe the stories
That you read on all the crockery

To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art
Like painting a masterpiece,
it’s a work of heart
It takes more than sinew
Comes down to what’s in you
You have to continue to grow
Now that’s more like it!

I’m down to one last shoot
And my last high note
Before that blasted Underworld
Gets my goat
My dreams are on you, kid
Go make ’em come true
Climb that uphil slope
Keep pushing that envelope
You’re my one last hope
And, kid, it’s up to you

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Zero to Hero
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

Bless my soul
Herc was on a roll
Person of the week
in evry Greek opinion poll
What a pro
Herc could stop a show
Point him at a monster
and you’re talking SRO
He was a no one
A zero, zero
Now he’s a honcho
He’s a hero
Here was a kid with his act down pat
From zero to hero in no time flat
Zero to hero just like that

When he smiled
The girls went wild with
oohs and aahs
And they slapped his face
On ev’ry vase
on ev’ry vase

From appearance fees and royalties
Our Herc had cash to burn
Now nouveau riche and famous
He could tell you
What’s a Grecian urn?

Say amen
There he goes again
Sweet and undefeated
And an awesome 10 for 10
Folks lined up
Just to watch him flex
And this perfect package
packed a pair of pretty pecs

Hercie, he comes
He sees, he conquers
Honey, the crowds were
Going bonkers
He showed the moxie brains, and spunk
>From zero to hero a major hunk
Zero to hero and who’da thunk

Who put the glad in gladiator?
Hercules!
Whose daring deeds are great theater?
Hercules
Is he bold?
No one braver
Is he sweet
Our fav’rite flavor
Hercules, Hercules …

Bless my soul
Herc was on a roll
Undefeated
Riding high
And the nicest guy
not conceited

He was a nothin’
A zero, zero
Now he’s a honcho
He’s a hero

He hit the heights at breackneck speed
From zero to hero
Herc is a hero
Now he’s a hero
Yes indeed!

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I Won’t Say I’m in Love
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

Meg:
If there’s a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I’ve already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That’s ancient history, been there, done that!

Muses:
Who’d’ya think you’re kiddin’
He’s the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can’t conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you’re thinking of

Meg:
No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no

Muses:
You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh

Meg:
It’s too cliche
I won’t say I’m in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out
Oh

Muses:
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you’re feeling
Baby, we’re not buying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad

Meg:
No chance, now way
I won’t say it, no, no

Muses:
Give up, give in
Check the grin you’re in love

Meg:
This scene won’t play,
I won’t say I’m in love

Muses:
You’re doin flips read our lips
You’re in love

Meg:
You’re way off base
I won’t say it
Get off my case
I won’t say it

Muses:
Girl, don’t be proud
It’s O.K. you’re in love

Meg:
Oh
At least out loud,
I won’t say I’m in love

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A Star is Born
Music: Alan Menken
Lyrics: David Zippel

Gonna shout it from the mountaintops
A star is born
It’s a time for pulling out the stops
A star is born
Honey, hit us with a hallelu
The kid came shining through
Girl, sing the song
Come blow your horn
A star is born

He’s a hero who can please the crowd
A star is born
Come on ev’rybody shout out loud
A star is born
Just remember in the darkest hour
Within your heart’s the power
For making you
A hero too
So don’t lose hope when you’re forlorn
Just keep your eyes upon the skies
Ev’ry night a star is
Right in sight a star is
Burning bringt a star is born

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